boronze

سلام به همگی من وب

 

جدیدی دارم لطفا به 

 

اون 

 

 

سر بزنید

 

 

www.atenajo0n.blogfa.com

-Torke esmesh morad boode.Migan chera esmet morade?Mige choon abe natalabide boodam!

302-be akharin hamam ke damad ghabl az aroosi mire chi migan?-------->jaghatolveda!

303-The 8 Qualities of a perfect BF:Brave,Intelligent,Gentle,Polite,Energetic,Nutty,Industrious,Sensitive.
And if all else fails... Read the CAPITAL LETTERS only.!!

304-Az zane miporsan chize marda shabihe chiye?mige shabihe joje ordake zesht! vaghti ke bozorg mishe ,khoshgel mishe !

305-Be torke migan ba ((olama)) jomle besaz ! Migeh : koskholama ! *)Migan : manzor az olama yani olia . Migeh : koskholia !!!

306-ENSANHA be 2 dasteh taghsim mishan:1-PESTANDARAN    2-PESTANKHARAN

307-Loreh to wc ghash  mikoneh vaghti be hosh miad migeh: man kiam inja kojast? ki mano rideh!!!!

308-Emsal jenifer lopez bimeye konesho tamdid nakarde chon taze fahmide kesi ke az aghab mizane moghasere!!

309-Torke az USA ke miad mige:dige be man nagin GAZANFAR!Bejash begid:Pesar-e sahel !migan:chera?mige:akhe unja hame be man migoftan:'SON OF A BITCH'!!!

310-Tashabohe zan va gosfand :hame jashono mishe khord gheir az pashmeshono.!!!

311-Girl : mom is it true that babies  come from where the boys put their penis? Mom:"yes" girl:oh my god, will it hurt more when the baby comes out of my mouth !

312-Be khoruse migan ye morgh darim ruzi 2ta tokhm mikone. Mige inke chizi nist! Man 2ta tokhm daram rozi 10ta morgh mikone...!

313-Ghazvinie ye forushgah baz mikone esmesho mizare:GAY TO GAY!

314-Harja ke ya hosein ya hosein bood boro,chon daran nahar ya sham midan!ama har ja ya ali bood naro chon daran mashin hol midan!!!

315-Rashtiye X mikhore mire khone mibine zanesh ba kasi Nist!! (tavahom)

316-Ebrahim amadeye ghorbani kardane esmail bud ke nagahan in aye bar oo nazel shod:EBI JOON, BIKHIAL SHO. TO DAR BARABARE DOURBINE MAKHFI HASTI !!!

317-Be rashtie migan too bagh daran badjuri tartibe zaneto midan.mige: baba mozoo ro inghadr bozorgesh nakonin. Bagh koja bood, faghat chand ta derakhte !

318-Jadidtarin Taghsim bandi ensanha:1-pestandaran    2-pestanmalan    3-pestankharan 4-lapestangozaran

319-Lore docharkhe mikhare mire shahreshun.bachash ta mibine mige:maman bia baba ye chiz rafte tu kunesh har chi dasto pa mizane az kunesh dar nemiad.!!

320-Teste ho0sh:Kire ye arab+kire ye tork+kire ye rashti=?.........................---------->>Afarin arm e shabake 3. !!!

321-emam jomeye rasht  fatva dad har  mardi ba zanesh  nazdiki konad savabe karbala mibarad.Rashtiye sardare khone mizane:har ke darad  havase karbobala, Besmella!

322-BE GAZVINI MIGAN NAZARET DAR MORED ZAN CHI HAST MIGE :AGE PESTONESH POSHT BOOD AALI BOOD!!!

323-torke mikhaste bere karbala otoboshaye Emam hosein savar mishe !.!.

324-Amar migereftan ke chand darsade zana periodan.az torke miporsan:zanet  periode ?mige ey nagholaha az doure labam fahmidin ?!

325-Midunesti ghiyafat kheili dokhtar pasande ?!!           dalilesho miduni ?--->>>na ??............................chon ghiyafat kheili  kirie !!!

326-Zan 100 Ta Sorakh dare Yekish ba Doul Por mishe 99 Tash Ba Poul.!!!

327-Bachehe :maman ye viagra bede eshal daram!Maman :viagra ke baraye eshal nist!!Bache :pas chera dishab be baba gofti viagra bokhor ta in goh seft beshe!!!

328-Mamolan migan:Gooleye?Namak.....Dasteye?Gol....Roghane?Ladan......Kire?Khar.......kose?Amat......kone?Laghe kasi ke dare ino mikhone!!!! lolllll

329-in sms ra baraye 3 nafar befrast ke yekishon koni bashe va degari tokhmi va badi kiri bashe.hala fekr kon in sms ra chera daryaft kardi ?!(albate vase Man nayoomade booda ;0) )

330-83 PESARE 23 SALE, 383 PESARE13 SALE, 1383 PESARE 3SALE, VA SARANJAM KELIDE TALAEI YEK MAHDE KODAK, GOSHEI AZ JAVAEZE BANKE VELADAT,SHOBEHYE QHAZVIN!!!

331-Az ye rashtie miporsan:raste ke shahidan zende and?mige:are!migan chetor?mige:akhe pesare man 8-9 sal pish shahid shode vali arosam har sal hamele mishe!

332-Midoni chera dokhtara vagti az khab pa mishan cheshm ha shono mimalan?........................... akhe tokhm nadaran!!!

333- ye torke valintin mire cartfurushi mige agha ye cart darin rush neveshte bashe tanha eshgham to hasti?migan are.mige:PAS LOTFAN 16 ta bedin!!!

334-Turke shorte khis mipushe tokhmash javune mizane!

335-Rashtiya be gheyrateshon ghasam mikhoran, torka be ensaniyateshon, lora be aghlaniyateshon, va ghazviniya be paki dorane kodakishon!!!

336-Torkeh mireh amrika fast food bokhoreh.migeh 1 sandewich.garson migeh to go?torkeh migeh na pedarsag to noon.!!

337-Eyke kunat hamcho beyti azghazal..................Man peye kune to hastam azazal
        Ey navaye kune to chon sazeney....................Daghe kunat man bebinamtabe key?

338-Gol dar baro mey dar kafo mashoogh be kam ast..............gar kir shavad rast degar kar tamam ast.!!!

339-Ye torkeh migeh man seyed hastam, miporsand: jaddet kiyeh? Migeh 'zol janah'(asbe emam Hossein)!

340-Ye magaseh babash mimireh an(goh) kheyrat mideh!

341-One day I read smoking is bad, so I stopped smo. . One day I read drinking is bad, so I stopped drin. . One day I read fucking is bad ! ...so I stopped   reading. !!!

342-Moalem:saboktarinjesme donya chiye?shagerd:kire!Moalem:chera?shagerd:chon ba fekram mishe bolandesh kard!!

343-Be morghe migan chera dige tokhm nemizari ;?Mige:az daste in jendehaye

344-Midooni che joori 7 ta soorakh ro mikonan too ye soorakh ? nemidooni ? ye foloot ro bokon too koonet !!

345-Arayeshgarha Ghashang Mikonan!Ashghalia Tamiz Mikonan!Doctora Khob Mikonan! Mekanika Dorost Mikonan!Ashpazha Sir Mikonan!
Shoma Chetor ,,,?!!!

346-Taabloye rahnamaee ranandegi dar nazdikihaye jadeye montahi be RASHT:  az gheyrate khod bekaahid..Y.Y.Y.

347-3 posible reason when a man opens the car door for his wife:1.the car is new!/2.the wife is new!/3.the woman is not his wife!!!

348-Ye torke khast bachash dogholo beshe zere tokhmash karbon gozasht!!

349-3ta chiz hast ke khili hal mide!khordan hendone ba haste.khordan chay ba tane khaste, lab gereftan ba cheshmaye baste.

350-Dokhtar jaan be 2 chiz del maband :1- pardeh bekaaratat2- mehrieye arusiat ke avali be kire kolofti band ast o aan yek be tokhme chapi !

351-Torke mire heyat rash nemidan,heyat mizane hishkhyo rah nemide!!

352-Rashtiye mire heyat ,heyat mire khune rashtiye.!!

354-I'M LOOK AT MOON  IT'S BEAUTIFUL      I'M LOOK AT YOU   ....AH ...I'D RATHER LOOK AT MOON AGAIN!!

355-dishab khab didam ba motor zadam behet.mordi. bordamet chalet kardam. didam az ghabret noor miad. khoob negah kardam.didam cheraghe motor too koonet gir karde!

356-Be torke migan esme 3 heyvon ro ke ba (kh) shoroe besheh nam bebar migeh 1.Khodam 2.Khaharam 3.Khoda biamorz pedaram!!!

357-DAME EYD AZ TORKE PORSIDAN=7 SIN CHIYE ?GOFT =KIRE MAN !GOFTAN=YANI CHI ?GOFT=Sar dare,Surakh dare,Sefte,Sorkhe,Sangine,Va Seft Mire tu Sost miyad Birun!!!

358-be TORKE migan chera basanet enghadr bozorge?! Mige khoda madaramo rahmat kone, be jaye poodre janson be paham BAKING poodr mizade!(.p.)

359-Taarofat kos ba kir:khoda az kolofti kamet nakone...Bozorgi az khodetoone...Ma ke sine chakim...Dam dar bade befarmain too...ma dar khedmatim shoma lab tar kon!

360-khodavand asemano zamin ra afarid va goft che zibast, mard ra afarid va goft che zibast, va zan ra afarid va goft... eshkal nadare arayesh mikone!

361-Torke mire darookhoone mige agha 99ta kandom bedin. Yaroo mige che khabarete bia manam bokon  dige. Torke mige kheilekhob  pas 100ta bede.!

362-Akharin fatvaye maraje ghom sader shod : ehtiyat vajeb bar in ast ke mosafer dar ghazvin namaz ra bedon roko va sojdeh beja avarad !!!

363-Tu divune khune yeki ru saresh zoghal gozashte bud.azash miporsan in chiye? tombunesho mikeshe pain mige befarma galyun!

364-Kishmish be nokhodchi mige ghorbune khate sinat..nokhodchi behesh mige hamin ghalata ro kardi chub tu kunet kardan!

365-Torke baraye avalinbar dasht Sex mikard azash miporsan che ehsasi dari !mige:vala nemidonam shash daram,nemidonam an daram,faghat kheily khoshhalam.!!

366-Marahel  eshg  1-dast  tu  dast    2- en  tu dast 3- dast  tu  own 4-en  tu  oon !!

367-Shire torkaro tu jangal mibine mige kuchulu koja miri? Miram khuneye madarbozorg mikhoram pofak namaki chagh misham chele besham bad miam kiramo bokhor koskesh!

368-Ye rooz ye torkeh raft toones,ye torkeh raft natonest!

369-badtarin nefrine zana be ham:''elahi hichvaght kafe pat asemoono nabine.''!!

370-Pasheha ruza koja miran?? mishinan sare kire kangoroha!Chun dastaye kangoro kutahe nemitune beparune!Hala fahmidi chera kangoroha ruza balaopain miparan.!!

371-Moshakhasatekoon'goshad'tarin Adame rooye zamin:1)kafshesh band nadare,2)Shalvaresh zip nadare,3)Pirahanesh dokme nadare. . . . .. .oon ye Akhoonde. !!

372-bache:maman chera ro baba balapain miri?maman:shekame baba bad karde daram khalimikonam.bache:velkon,farda ke nisti 2khtar hamsaye baz ba dahanesh badesh mikone!

373-Zane period :jade laghzande ast.zane jende:oboure kamioon azad.zane hamele:ehtemale soghute bahman.zane rashti:azadrah.zane50sale:jade dardaste tamir.!!

374-Dar ellate marge man tajassos nakonid,,,ba noch noche bi hesab chos chos nakonid,,,az mordane man agar taasof darid,,, ta chelleye man ey rofagha KOS nakonid!!

375-Be zane torke migan ta hala mashin hol dadi? mige na,vali ye bar hol shodam tou mashin dadam.!!

376-Yaroo mire behesht mibine hooria hame darbo daghoon, jer khorde, mige chi shode? migan shohadaye javadie oomade boodan.!!

377-LOVE=>>L=Leg ,o=open,v=very,E=easy!!

378-Ye rooz ye torke dasht blook simani roo poshtesh mibord. Azash miporsan chera ba forghoun nemibari goft ye bar bordam charkhesh gardanam ro aziat kard!!!

379-Kerme mire to shorte ye mard kiresho mibine mige ee pahlevon chera ro vilcher neshasti?!!

380-rashtie be zanesh mige: ye viagra bede bekhorim. mige: avalan gerune, dovoman male mehmune!

381-Arabe resid be Rashtiyeh goft: Ahlan va Sahlan,Rashtiyeh goft: Bandeh ke na!Vali Khaanoum ham ahlan ham sahlan!!

382-Rashtie mire khune mibine zanesh lokht khabide, mige : khanum baz ke to ba lebas kar khabidi !

383-Az torke miporsan ashora che rozie ?mige roze jahanie gheime!

384-Do esperm:avaly mykhast doctor  beshe dovomy mykhast mohandes beshe.dar heine  birun raftane mohandese,doctore dad myzane Mohandes naro   JAGHE JAGHE!!

385-Chand nafar mirizan khuneye rashtie migan zaneto bede bokonim. Kareshun ke tamum mishe, mibinan rashtie dare herher mikhande!:badbakhta un khaharam bood.!

386-Teacher: which part of the body goes to GOD into heaven  first? kid: legs... because everynight I see my mum' legs up high and screaming " OH GOD ! I'M COMING"!!!

387-bache rashtie be babash mige:chera akse lokhti-e mamani ro gozashti ru safheye camputer?!!babae  mige:his,sedasho dar nayar  az internet download kardam!!!

388-agar bejaye kir az kar estefade konim dadehaye zir be dast miayad: mard=karmand,kardar. zan=bikar. pirezan=azkaroftade. jende=karshnas jakesh=kargozar.!!

389-khanoom moallem pedare shagerdo mikhad o mige bachat too daftaresh neveshte:MAN KOON RA DOOST DARAM . pedare mige:bachas digeh.kos nadideh!!

390-Daneshmandane Ardebil bad az tahghighate faravan be in natije residan ke HAVIJ baraye cheshm zarar dashteh va gahi baese koori mishavad,bevije noke HAVIJ!

391-Ye mashadiye dashte gavaro mikarde gave  dardesh migire mige : MOO Mashadiye mige mo o to nadare aval mo baed to !

392-Ye bar 2 ta jujetighi ba ham budan ye kivi mibinan.yekishun mige in chiye?oon yeki mige in mamademune taze az sarbazi bargashte!!

393-After haveing sex! American girl says:oww yesss German girl says:oow ya Iranian girl says:be kasy nagi!!!

394-Farhang saraye zabane farsi dar akharin jalaseye khod tasvib kard ke: Bejaye vajheye na maanoose kire khar az vajheye RASTE EFRATI estefade shavad!

395-Parastare mamash birun oftade bud,sarparastar behesh tazakor mide.parastar mige:taghsire doktor haye bakhshe,har chio bar midaran sare jash nemizaran !

396-torke mige too tehran fesad bidad mikone marda hame binamoos shodan korsete zanashoono dar ovordan nesf kardan gozashtan dame dahaneshoon !

397-Goftam duset daram gofti khafesho,goftam asheghetam gofti khafesho,goftam negahet mano koshte gofti khafesho,goftam migiramet gofti rast migi goftam khafesho;)

398-Be zane torke migan chetory jelogiri mikoni -ba pit halabi -chejuri?!! -aghamun ghadesh kutahe mire ru pit vamise vaghti cheshash yejuri mishe mizanam zire pit!

399-Always keep a photo of your " wife" in your wallet. Look at it when you are in trouble. U"ll feel that other Problems are not as Big as this one!

400-Ye asbe zang mizane sirk,mige agha onja baraye man kary darid?Marde mige che honary dary?Asbe mige madar jende mage nemibiny daram HARF mizanam !!!

401-Shabahat zan ba kerevat :har do bikhe khere mard ra migiran.!!

402-Be torke migan ba gham jomle besaz , mige man olagham!!

403-Pirezane be un yeki mige :delam ye guni kire rast shodeh mikhad,dovomi : vali man delam khabide mikhad,chera khabide?
''chon rast beshe mishe 3 guni."!!!!

404-Bacheye  akhoonde tork: Baba  age begoozam roozam batel mishe?Akhoonde tork: age az in kar lezzat bebari, bale. !!

405-Dokhtare be doost pesaresh mige: Azizam,bad az ezdevaj ham hamintor be man hal midi?pesare: Are vali age shoharet gir nade.!!

406-Be  ye  torke  migan  sezarian   yani ? che  mige   bacheh  be  sharte  chagho .!!

407-varzeshgah e azadi tehran dar rooz-e bazi-e Iran-North Korea mizban e bish az 2000 nafar tork e tabrizi bood ke baraye tashvighe team e melli moghabele koreh e shemali bood!!!(bazi dar kore bood)

408-3000 ghazvini az asre diroz(13-be dar) napadid shode'and. dar gereh zadane sabzeha ehtiat konid..moavenate ensanie Naja!

409-MARATEBE EZDEVAJ: 1.AZMAYESHGAH 2.ARAYESHGAH 3.MALESHGAH 4.LAYESHGAH 5.GAYESHGAH 6.ZAYESHGAH 7.ASAYESHGAH 8.ARAMESHGAH!!

410-Yek ghazvinye be khanomesh mige ye khabare khosh daram ye khabare bad,khabare bad inke pesaremon kooni shode,khabare khosh inke ajab KOONI shode!!

411-Salam.khobi?dishab khabeto didam. kheyr bashe,ye goni ro doshet bod pore saat.be hame yeki ye saat dadi - ama bi marefat be ma ye rob bishtar nadadi!!!

412-Nokhodchi mire parvareshe andam mishe koon.!!

413-Be ye arab goftan ba zan jomleh besaz goft man ba zan faghat mitonam bacheh besazam!!!

414-Nelson Mandela: Dar tamam moddat 35 sali keh zendan boudam, zanam dast e rastam boud va dast e rastam zanam boud!(jaghol)

415-Be ye khari GOFTAND:in ke migan torka kharan raste?Khar:Vala ye begoo magooii beineshoon hast vali ma zire bar nemirim!

416-ye pesar az pedaresh miporse :pedar olagha ham zan migiran ?pedar mige pesaram fagat olagha zan migiran!!

417-Gorge mire dare khuneye shangol va mangul, madareshun gushi ro barmidare mige : " bacheha nistan bia bala " !!!

418-Torke zanesho mikoshe, mire marhaleye bad. Barmigarde mibine zanesh zendas, yadesh miofte ke save nakarde bud.!

419-Rashtieh az hejleh miad biron,azash miporsan chikar kardi,zood omadi biroon,migeh:Kar ye roozo, ye shabo,ye nafar nist!!

420-Lore raft kharej did hame pirhan astin kotah poshidehand goft: ' pas inja mardom damagheshan ra ba chi pak mikonand?!

421-Shenidi modire saipa ghazvinie !?chon faghat ba koone pride bazi mikone.nasim, saba, safari, 141, ...!!

422-What Iranian boys wants in sex:1- khordane labe dorosht.2-gereftane sine ba  mosht.3-malidane kos ba angosht.4- kardane kos az posht!!!

423-Be torke goftan ba abrisham jomle besaz. Goft hava abrish ham ghashange!

424-Rashtie ba noke sine zanesh bazi mikarde. Zane mige chikar mikoni? Mige daram radio bbc migiram. Zane mige ba in anteni ke to dari radio iranam nemigiri.!

425-Torke mirese be refighesho va vaimisseh be ahval porsi,mige pedar khube?dustesh mige ey,parkinson gerefte,torke mige:e pas persia ro forukht?!!

426-Be rashtie migan pesare mamad agha tartibe zaneto dad,mige:  mashalah,pesare mamadagha enghadr bozorg shode!?!

427-DOSAGE OF VIAGRA: With New Girl: No need;Old Girl: 1/2 Tablet;With Mistress:1Tablet ;With Wife:2Tablets+ X-rated film+ red wine+ HOT CHILLY PEPPER !!

428-Doost dokhtare adam mesle adamse:1) Dashtane ye baste, hamishe behtar az yekie.2) Faramoosh nakon payane har adamsi, satle ashghale. pas baraye hichadamsi gheymate ziadi pardakht nakon.3) Adamse nimkhordeye kasiro nokhor.4) Javidane toolani e adams, joz bimaze shodanesh haseli nadare.5) hasratadamsi ke door andakhtiro nakhor.6) Ezdevaj mesle ghoort dadane adamse, hich adame agheli adamsesho ghoort nemide.!!

429-What's wrong with ur phone?I tried calling u, but the operator said, "Welcome 2 the jungle, the monkey u r trying to call is on the tree, plz try again later.!

430-Sargozashte 1pesar dar daneshgahe qazvin:sale aval   ( )( )sale2vom (  .  )sale3vom ( o )sale4om   ( () )shans avord oghe licance nabod.!!

431-Amianno espanza lamore dienta salutte perfavore dominika sette kientima wovo elino romantika kievo si pesto amore ke ava.tarjomeh :kheyli mokhlesim !

432-Breaking news....    Prince Charles admitted to ICU after consuming expired breast milk!!

433-farghe porofosor va jende: avali kheili chiza  to sareshe, dovomi kheili sara to chizeshe...!

434-Emam jom'e'ie ardabil farmoodand:be hengame nooshidane (ab) 3 besmellaah begin , zira dar (ab) 3 jen vojood darad: 2ta hidro'jen , 1oxi'jen !!!

435-Kheili doost dashtam to gooshiye mobilam boodi... midooni chera??              chon mitoonestam har shab ye chiz bokonam too koonet ta hesabi sharj beshi    :-)

436-Be torke migan shishe az chi dorost mishe mige be pashme shishe vajebin mizani pashmash mirize  mishe shishe!

437-Akhe yaboo, goosfand, olagh,  bozghale, boozine,  khar, guril, sag,  meimun, shepesh, zaloo, kane, in hame heyvoone; chera shir shod soltane jangal?!  ;0)

438-Rasti tahala shabdar khordi? Age shabdar biaram mikhori? Na? 100% shabdar biaram nemikhori? Hala ke shabdar biaram nemikhori rooz dar miaram bokhor!!

439-To: ziba,To: maah,To: doosdashtani,To: mehrabon,To: jazzab,To: behtarin,To: bi nazir,To: ye fereshte. Vali man chi ?Yek adame dorogh goo.!!!

440-Be rashtieh migan sahmeeh dashti daneshgah ghabol .Bale man farzand 3 shaheed hastam.

441-2daste az mardha ezdevaj mikonan,onhayi ke   maghzeshon andazeye tokhmeshoone va onhayi ke tokhmeshoon andazeye maghzeshoone !

442-Pas az modatha jostejo dar ketabhay nioton ghanon chaharom nioton peida shod : kos roye zamin nemimone!!

443-7 RULES TO BE HAPPY:1>Never hate2>Don"t worry3>Live simple4>Expect  little5>Give a lot6>Always smile7>have a good friend like me!!

444-Akhunde mishine jeloye taksi, mige agha mano 2nafar hesab konin, ranande tork bude mige man toro tokhmam ham hesab nemikonam che berese be 2nafar!!!

445-BeTorke migan falsafe kolahak sar kir chie?Mige un baraye ine ke vaghti jagh mizani dastet dar nare bokhore tu suratet! !

446-Be torke migan ba ID jomleh besaz.Goft:GAIDID BABA AZ BAS GOFTID JOMLE BESAZ!

447-Torke ranande taxi boude ye khanoum azesh miporse agha karimkhan mirid?Torke mige khob ma'loume ke mirid,age nemirid ke miterekid.

448-Ye torke pa ro ghorbaghe mizare ghorbaghe mige ghoooorrr dobare pasho mizare rosh ghorbaghe asabany mishe mige ghooooorrrrroooooomsaghhhh   !!

449-Pesare be dokhtare mige natars ta 10 beshmari tamom mishe dokhtare mige 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  7  7   bazam  7  dobare  7 .

450-Be rashtie migan:zaneto too 1 peikan ba 7 ta mard didim,mige :eival zarfiate peikan !!!

451-Doctor: ye shiaf neveshtam,bokon too koonet.Torke: bebin doctor,khodet sare shookhio baz kardi ! Kiram too dahanet !!!

452-Torke dostdokhtaresho mibare too  kharabe, behesh mige beia kare bad konim, dokhtare ke del to delesh nabod goft chikar konim, torke goft: an konim farar konim.!!

453-Be esfahanie migan nesfe donya ro bet midim fozoli nakoni.Mige:AA nesfe digeshe be ki midin?

454-Be torke migan  nemikhai adam beshi mige man az in gherti baziha khosham nemiad!!

455-Torke mire sarbazy, baad az 2 sal  kartesho keh  behesh midan  mige man az ina dashtam, govahinameh mikhastam.!!

456-Be torke migan ba CD jomleh besaz .Mige: ammato gaiidam. Migan: CDish koo? mige CDish ro farda miaram bebini .!

457-Ye torke mire darukhane. Mige:CANDOM CODEINE DAR darin?Miporsan baraye sar darde kiri mikhay?Mige na,mikham ye kose bi darde sar bokonam!

458-Torke khodesho too ayne mibine hey fekr mikone mige khodaya man in yaroo ro koja didam? bad az ye saat mige aha..., hafteye pish too salmooni didamesh!!

459-Rashtiye 5 ta bache dashte ,4 ta az bachehasho kotak mizade o yeki ro navazesh mikardeh, behesh migan chera in yeki ro nemizani? mige: akhe in yeki SEYYEDE...

460-Emaam jom'eye rasht: Be barkat-e jomhuri-e eslaami dar raah-e khod kafaayi pishraft-e khubi daashte'im va al'aan 20%-e bache'haamun-o khodemun tolid mikonim!

461-Torke mire ghavasi,koosehe mibinatesh mige agha shoma torkin?Mige are az koja fahmidi?Mige akhe poshtet kapsole atash neshanie.!

462-Magase mire to dasshoyi, mishene ro an mige :mano in hame khosh bakhti mahale mahale .

463-Az ghazvinie miporsan az kodum khanande khoshet miad, mige:az khanum hayde,azash miporsan:khob az kodum ahangesh khoshet miad?Mige:az ahange kabutar bache karde!!!

464-Be jendehe migan:dos dari pesaret chikare beshe?Mige:footbalist,ta be tim meli berese,daghigheye 90 ye penalti bezane to out,60 milion began kir to kose nanat.

465-What is the difference between my wife and my girlfriend ? When my girlfriend touches my hair my dick stands ! But if my wife touchs my  dick my hair stands!

466-Salam.1chizio khili vagte mikham begam.midonam migi boro baba,vali man...man vaghean...man vaghean ASHEGH...asheghe TO...man vaghean asheghe torobche ba paniram!!!  lol

467-farghe zane irani ba khareji :zan khareji mire hamum mige :azizam bia mano bokon,zan irani mige :bia mano bokon mikham beram hamum ! ! !

468-Marmolake mire mashad mishe mashmolak,mire karbala mishe karbolak,mire make mishe hajmolak,mire shabdolazim mishe SHOMBOLAK ,mire ghazvin mishe ANGOOLAK.

469-Midooni be 5ta dokhtar tooye ye estakhr chi migan ? Ranie Holoo!

470-Woman has "MAN" in it; Mrs has "MR" in it; Female has "MALE" in it; She has "HE" in it; Madam has "ADAM" in it; No wonder "MEN" always want to be INSIDE "WOMEN"!!

471-What men do after sex?    2% eat; 3% smoke cigarettes; 4% take a shower; 5% go to sleep and 86% get up and go back home to their wives.!!  lollll

472-Yad ar ke shalvare to ra dar kardam/         yek ozvi az to ra tar kardam /
yek looleye por az ab nahadam be darat/         har che to jigh keshidi forootar kardam /        = Ampool !

473-Ye masale qazvini :kani ke namikhara ,dam-pare kharabeha namicharkhe.

474-Torke be zane khareji :I love you. Zan:I love you too.Torke: I love you three.Zan:what?Torke:wat bi wat,kiram la pat,madar ghahveh,ba man kal kal mikoni ??!

475-Bacheha in naghsheye lapaye mast,in ghesmat esmesh beyzehast,shekle yek lule dar inja ashenast,cheshme in lule be kunhaye shomast,bacheha in lulehe shunbulemast...!!

476-Ghazvinie ro mibaran too mahdekudak, mizane zire avaz "MANO IN HAME KHOSHBAKHTI MAHALE MAHALE".

477-Ghazvinie bachasho mibare madrese mige in bachro tarbiatesh konid , ro bokhary axe koon keshide ham doole mano sozonde ham daste daisho ham labe bababozorgesho!

478-Age kardan be dars khondan tabdil besheh:Mokh zadan=entekhabe vahed Lay paie=mian term Sine mali=pish nyaz Lab gereftan=ham nyaz Kardan=final Suck=taghalob.

479-Ye torke toye atish soozi tamame badanesh misoze ela KOONESH,azash miporsan chera in tori shode?Mige vala 30 sal pish be ye seyed koon dadam.!

480-bar asase ahadis ahle tasanon va tashayo ; dashtane 3 chiz dar shabe avale zafaf jayez nist : 1) sabre ayyob
2) kose mahjob 3) kire mayob. !!!

481-Yek japoni ba yek irani ezdevaj mikone ,cheshme bachashon tang mishe konesh goshad!

482-ye ruz Ezrail mire june ghazviniaro begire mige shenasnamato bede mikham batel konam.mige zire farshe konesho dari bardar!

483-1 shere Esfahani: Kiram Monar jomboones, Chenari tooye Tomboones, Abesh hamesh ravoones, Bibin che mehraboones, Kos kholo Shookho Shanges, Asheghi Darzi Tanges!

484-Torke mikhaste atashneshan beshe.Tu mosahebe azash miporsan age jangal atish begire aab ham oon atraf nabashe che kar mikoni ?Mige : tayamom mikonam !!!

485-torke zanesh shekayat mikone ke nemikonadesh.Ghazi:chera nemikonish? tork:jenabeghazi saate 6 sobh miram sarekar, 12shab miam .shoma jaye kiram bashi boland mishi?

486-Torke mire kale pazi mige agha ye cheshm bezar.ta kalepaze mire cheshm bezare torke ghayem mishe!

487-Shere ghazvini :
Ey ke kunat hamcho beyti az ghazal,      man peye kune to hastam az azal,
ey navaye kone to chon saze ney,        daghe kunat man bebinam ta be key?

488-festivale filme riasate jomhorifilm,kargardan):1-Pedar_khande,HASHEMI 2-telesm_shodegan,TAVAKOLI
3-kife englisi,LARIJANI 4-kamarbandharar bebandim,GHALIBAF 5- yek tekke nan,AHMADI NEJAD 6-dore donya dar80 ruz,VELAYATI
7.soote delan,MOEIN 8.leili ba manast,KARROBI 9.nejate sajookhe  rayan,REZAEI ..!!

489-Yeki be torke mige: ta hala to otoban chap kardi? mige:na vali yekbar to khiaban rast kardam aberom raft! shoma chetor?!?wow

490-Torke mire behesht zire paye madara leh mishe !

491-zane be marde mige azizam to az zanhaye khoshgel bishtar khoshet miad ya az zanhaye ba sho'our ?
marde mige :hich kodom azizam man az to khosham miad !

492-Pepsi means: Please Enter Penis Slowly Inside.  ;0)

493-Be Torke Migan:Mikhay Khoda Bashi?!Mige :  Naa Migan : Cheera??!Mige : Choon Jaye Pishraft Nadare!

494-Ye late mire nohe mikhone,badesh ke tamom mishe mibine hame dar raftan !Az akhonde miporse chetor bod ?!Akhonde Mige :
3 ta nokte ra tavajoh nakardi !1.Yazid zalem bod na koskesh2.hor be yazid posht kard na inke kir zad 3.72 tan shahid shodan na inke be ga raftan !!

495-MAZIAT HAYE SHIRE khanuma: 1.estefade baraye tamam senin.2.bastebandi jazzab.3.dastresy asan.4.yeki bekhar,2 ta bebar.

496-Ghazvinie mire namaz jomeh hame miran rokoo ghazvinie nemire , Mige " mano in hame khosh bakhti mahale mahale...."

497-Ye pirezane mire maghaze kir masnoi froshi,be froshande mige:nane joon on dool ghermeza ro be man bede,  froshande mige: un dool nist capsoul atish neshanie!

498-Rashtie kharje zayman e zanesh ziad mishe miad too mahal dad mizane: namarda, biayn dongatoono bedin.!

499-bill gates married with 20 years old girl.next day journalists asked the girl:how was your last night?she replied politely and sadly:it was MICRO and SOFT!

500-I Hope Your Life Be Like My Penis: Long ,Strong & Useful !!!

501-Az ye abadani miporsan jamiate abadan cheghadre?mige ba dahathaye atraf?Migan are,mige ba dehataye atraf 70 milion nafar!

502-To sepidi man sia,to be zire man bia,man bejonbam to najonb,ta ke abe man biad.............Monharef. Kheily dust dashti ba to bodam vali :Khodkar be kaghaz mige !

503-az torke dar morede amrica soal mikonan mige vala ye pash tu araghe ye pash tu afghanestan fek konam mikhad berine ru iran.!!

504-Age kasi behet roozi 1sms zad yani be yadete. age 2ta zad  2set dare. age 3ta zad  asheghete .age 4ta zad  mikhadet. age 5 ta zad motmaen bash mikhad bokonatet !

505-torke mire biron ghaza bokhore mibine neveshte ''hot dog'' konjkav mishe mikhare laye sandvicho ke baz mikone mige:shanso  mibini kojaye sag be ma reside  !

506-T0rke azmayesh ghand mide parastar s0zan0 mizane t0 ang0shtesh, kh00n nemiad jaye s0zan 0 mimake t0rke mige BEBAKHSHID AZMAYESHE edrar nemigirin ?

507-Dost dokhtare Torke azadar mishe ,Torke mire darookhone mige agha ye kandom meshki bedid ba taame khorma!

508-JASEM to mehmoni miguze az khejalat 2A mikone khabesh bebare ,baade az 300 sal bidar mishe mire nunvaie ye seke mide
taraf mige: in ke male doreye JASEM guzoo-e ke?!!

509-Age ye rooz ye pashe root neshast khoshhal sho chon mifahmi ke ye gohi shodi!

510-Turke shalvaresho baraks mipooshe nanash mige,: elahi gorboonet beram vagti miri engar dari miay . .!

511-Torke mire tovalet,magasa kheili aziatesh mikonan.Asabani dad mizane : sholoogh nakonin,vaseh babam ke nemirinam,daram vaseh shoma mirinam !!

512-Madare bache,be nazem shekayat kard ke dars nemikhone nazem goft:bache age harf gosh nadi madarto migam.madare goft in harf gosh nemide shoma kare khodeto bokon!!  ;0)

513-India =osiahe Italy = ograselo belgium=okrasich england=oshefil  turkey=oragsavin japan=ochang chong spain=orrraseliro
france=orakhel iran=oskol shodi !

514-5 Asle mohem ghabl az khab:jish,boos,roosh,toosh,doosh,LaLa.

515-Hitler dar akharin sokhanranish goft akhten deusch armi kikhden kokhden koloften smsden repeat ishnaider yani kire artesh alman tu kun unai ke sms tekrari midan!!!

516-ye torkeh mimireh,shab aval ghabr 62 ta fereshteh myan bala saresh.2tashon soal mikardand,60 tay e baghieh halish mikardand!

517-Ye torke angosht mikone tu nafesh, RESET mishe. Mige khub shod tu kunam angosht nakardam chon SHUT DOWN mishodam?!!

518-Torke zanesho bad jori mizade behesh migan chi kar karde ke mizanish? Mige age midoonestam ke mikoshtamesh..!!

519-Zinpas khanumha bejaye vajeye mahjure DOOL beguyand :    Zibaye khofte!

520-Torke bezanesh mige ajab damade amrikaie khubi darima.Man poshte dar budam baraye in ke man BIDAR nasham be 2khtaremun yavashaki migoft "suck it"  "Suck it".!!!

521-Ghorbonet Beram, Azize, Khoshgele, kopole, asale, jigare, Namakiye, None Khoshki, Dampai Pare, Adams javide Samavar Shekaste Khariiiiiiii dariiiim.!!!

522-3chiz kheile bade:  1-ridan tu golestun.  2-aragh khordan tu ghabrestun.   3-didane sutiane bi pestun!

523-joke haye entekhabati:
salam. sharmandeh! ye khahesh dashtam. 50000 toman poole fori dari behem bedi?  KARROOBI ke reiees jomhour shod behet pas midam !!!

524-Age kasi zang zad, foot kard, narahat nasho. Larijanie. (havaye taze mifersteh)!!

525-Be ye nafar migan be ki rai midi,mige be yeki az jania, migan yani k i?Mige rafsanjani ya larijani.!!

526-Kandidahaye khod ra ba film beshnasin . Ahmadi  nejad= binavayan,rafsanjani=arbabe halgheha,ghalibaf=navaro,karobi=haloha dar axford,mehralizadeh=shahr dar daste bacheha,moin=amaliyate gheyre momken.!

527-Be torke migan be ki raay midi ?Mige be nanam.migan chera ?mige choon ghalibafe.!

528-Be rafsangani migan chetori  sarmayedar shodi ? Mige hichi ghadima yek tikke zamin kharidam shans avordam iran oftad toosh !!!

529-Shoare jadide hashemi :dobare michapamat vatan!!!

530-Akharin khabare entekhabati: "Ghazviniha alaraghm payane entekhabat hamchenan dar safhaye tavil hozur dashte va bar ensejam sofuf be sheddat ta'kid darand !

531-Dar ravayat ast ke chon dorehye akhar zaman fara resad khodavand heyvanati ra be ensan mostoli namayad ke farzande adam az tars be kooseh panah barad!!

532-Entekhabat e Iran : marhale avval = 7 samuraei  ---- marhale dovvom = shahzadeh va geda!!!

533-Be hashemi migan hala ke ray nayvordi che kar mikoni?Mige mishinam mikhunam vase rahbary.

534-Turke tu ghonutesh dastasho be chap & rast takon midade, behesh migan chera en karo mikoni, mige: mikham bebinam koja behtar anten mide.!

535-Az ghazvinie porsidan chi shod ke kandide majles shodi ? goft : avalan ke ma zatan kan didim . dar sani shenidim mardom be majles posht kardan !

536-bargh mire torke ba ye ghablame mire dare khone lore mige bargh mikham,lore mige : Ey torke khar laaghal ye zarfe pelastiki miavordi ke bargh nagiratet!!!

537-Ye pesar o dokhtar e 2gholoo be donya nemiyoomadan. Sonografi mikonan mibinan pesare jeloye dokhtare ro gerefte mige: "joon e Abji nemizaram lokht beri biroon" !!

538-Az torke miporsand ''I love you ''yani chi?mige mikonanamet migan on ke i fuck you e,mige che fargh mikone akharesh ke mikonamesh!

539-Ghanoone 5th newton darbare marda: age ba sor'ate noor dore derakht bedavid mitoonid kirtoono too kone khodetoon bezarid!

540-ghazvinie mimire zanesh har rooz mirafte koonesho mimalide roye ghabr .dalilesho miporsan mige: oon khodabiamorz hamishe migoft IN KOON MORDEH RO ZENDE MIKONE!

541-Az victoria porsidan chera zane bekham shodi goft az daste in ferdosipoor bas ke goft che mikone in bekham .!!

542-Pesare mirafte mahdekodak.Be mamanesh mige toy mahd bacheha kheyli harfay bad mizanan, madare mige to az in harfa nagi !
bache mige man be kose nanam mikhandam!!!!

543-Be torke migan chishod  motad shodi ?
mige : ba dustam gharar gozashtim ke shabhaye tatil tafrihi ye bast bezanim, ke bad avordim ,emam  mord 2hafte tatil shod!

544-Az obeide zakani porsidand dine eslam  chegoone ast? Goft angoone ke chon dar an vared shavi sare doolat beborand va chon khareg shavi sare khodat ra!

545-Be ghazvinye migan az kojaye tehran khoshet myad mige 4rahe jahan koodak!!

546-ZANE SHAHID HAMELE MISHE, AZ D0CT0R MIP0RSAN CHET0R M0MKENE?MIGE VALLA YA SHAHIDE ZENDAS YA IN ZANE JENDAS!!

547-Har vaght mano mididi shalvareto mikeshidi paein. manam abam ro mirikhtam roo koonet...
bargi az daftare khaterate yek aftabe !!!

548-Torke mire jahanam mibine ahmadinejad dare ba jeniferlupez miraghse mige manam az in azabaie ahmadinejad mikham migan in azabe jenifere na ahmadinejad!

549-Ye torke ba khoda ghahar mikone.balae namash minevise bename bazia!

550-Be torke migan shoghlet chie? Migeh ye etellati hich vaghat shoghleshro be kessi nemigeh!

551-Az torke miporsan in CD chera inghad khash dare? mige zire mataleb hay mohemesho khat keshidam.!!

552-Ye dokhtare khoob bayad 7 ta 'B' dashte bashe : biyad - bekhabe - bemale - bokhore - bede - bepooshe - bere!

553-Be Torke Migan Hala Ke Dari Miri Olampic Be Che Maghami Fekr Mikoni?Mige:MaghameMoazameRahbari!!

554-Jenifer lopez va anishtain baham ezdevaj mikonan,age gofti be bachashon chi migan?KOS MOKH.!!

555-Be torke migan:ghazanfar H.I.V gerefte!Mige:ajab,G.L.X ro forukht ?!

556-Be ye torke migan bishtar az che timi khoshet miad? Mige : ghorbune jadesh beram, time "A SED MILAD"

557-Be torkeh migan to chera adam nemishi ?Migeh : ma az in gherti bazi ha khoshemoon nemiad . . .

558-Sex is like a restaurant, sometimes U get good service, sometimes bad service, some times no service & many times U have to be happy with Self service!

559-Hala dige ma hame hazerim mahi 50,000 toman bedim karoubi biyad !!( be khatere  barande shodan-e ahmadi nejad)

560-What is a deference between ' oooh' and 'aah'?     answer:about 5 centimeters 

561-Tebghe Ghanoon Jadid Az Afradi Ke Dar Javab Sms Jadid Nadarand, Kun Ham Ghabul Mishavad.!!  in male  sms-i hast albate  ;0)

562-shalvare to ra ze basanat dar kardam    an basane lokht ra kami tar kardam.
in alate por maye nahadam be darat      ba jigh to man bish foroutar kardam !
Doost darat...tazrighatch

563-Rashtia ro jav   migire zanesho  send to all mikonad.!!

564-Teacher: Which part of the body goes to heaven into God first?Kid: Legs... because everynight I see my mum, legs up high and screaming: "OH GOD! I'M COMING".

565-How do you teach a girl maths ? Add a bed, substract her clothes, divide her legs, enter your sqaure root, leave your solution and hope she doesn't multiply !

566-Torke zanesho kheili seft mikone..............harz mishe !

567-Torke migooze 2 metr az jash mipare bala.Migan chi shod?Mige too dande bood.!!

568-Ye rooz 3ta moosh kalkal mikardan yeki mige tahala tale moosh didin? Oon yeki mige chizi nist ba fanaresh roozi 3ta scat miram.dovomi mige marge moosh didin baghiye mikhandan migan mazeye aragh khorimoone.mobile sevomi zang mizane mige alo oomadam migan koja mige hichi baro bach gorbe avordan darim mirim bokonim!!!

569-Payame ahmadinejad be roasaye jomhure keshvarhaye dige : az emshab ashqalatuno sa'ate 9 bezarin dame dar ...!!

570-Abadaniye migofte: Volek dishab Abadan zelzele umad 11rishter!melat migan aaaa! pas alan ba khak yeksaan shode!?Mige na volek! mage bache ha gozashtan!

571-Ye pirezane ALZHIMERIE lokht ru takht neshaste bude, azash miporsan: madar chera lokhti? Mige: yadam nist dadam ya mikham bedam?!

572-Yeki to hamoom omoomi dastesh be moamele gazvinie mikhore zood migeh bebakhshid gazvinieh mige in harfa nist dast be mohre yani bazi!!

573-Teacher:do U know the importance of period?Kid:Ya,once my sister said she has missed one,my mom fainted,dad got heart attack & our driver ran away!

574-Engelisiye miyofte too darya,dad mizane: help, help...  . torke rad mishe mige bejaye kelase zaban ,mirafti kelase shena!!!

575-Lore be torke mige: nemidoonam chera az kos sir nemisham.....Torke mige: bezar laye BARBARI, sir mishi.!

576-Mindazamet roo takht, baghalet mikonam 60ta booset mikonam, bad shalvareto dar miyaram pahato migiram bala, bad pooshaketo avaz mikonam..!

577-Hich midoni chera range machine atash neshani ghermeze!?        Age 30 metr shilang to konet mikardan mifahmidi chera..!!

578-Be Torke migan ba miss call jomle besaz mige Zaferan misscalli chande?!?

579- 7 naked men standing in a row with their erected penis. A lady saw them & asked r u all advertising for a condom? They replied, "No! For 7 Up!"

580-Az ye torke dar morede gheimate bazare chay miporsan , mige :SHAHRZAD keshide paein, AHMAD rafte rush !!!

581-Onghadr dooset daram ke ehsas mikonam yek vajab az vojoodam too vojoodete !

582-Torke cd mikhare mibine surakhe pasesh mide!!

583-Khari gom karde am ba bare kashi , SMS mizanam shaiad to bashi.!!

584-Torke mire khastgari madar aros mige dokhtaram dare dars mikhane torke mige eib nadare miram 1 saat dige miam!!

585-Doste azizam salam. Khahesh mikonam be elate shoyo'e vaba dige ba aftabe ab nakhor. !!

586-Midoni arezoie joje tighi chie? Ye nafar ro saresh daste navazesh bekeshe:-)

587-Murchehe ba sor'at ruye shekame khanume midavid.doostesh mige, ba in ajale kojaa?Mige:azash lab gereftam,miram bokonamesh!

588-rashtie zanesho ba ye marde to hammom mibine, khoon joloe cheshmasho migire, mire abgarmkon ro khamoosh mikone!!

589-Be torke migan vaghti ghamo ghose miad soraghet chikar mikoni? mige mokhamo divert mikonam roo tokhmam!

590-Be torke migan @ ro bekhoon, mige: ey doret begardam!

591-Az khare miporsan: raste ke lora! kharan?! Mige: ye sohbataee shode vali ma zire bar naraftim!

592-be torke migan ba ash ye jomle besaz? mige: mohamadiash salavat..!

593-Midoni tafavote roze zan va roze mard chie?Roze zan tala foroshia shologh mishe vali roze mard jorab foroshia !!!

594-Hoshdar!;vaba dar kamine shomast.!.!.! az; angosht kardan be  kone afrad mashkok parhiz farmaeid..........

595-Marde shab too rakhtekhab be zanesh mige :azizam kojat bezaram ? Bachashoon az poshte dar mige :baba bezar too koonesh, emrooz mano kheyli azyat karde !!

596-Aya Alatetan kuchak ast?Aya az darmanhaye afzayesh tule alat natije nagereftid?Aya GF tan az in mozu narazist?Digar negaran nabasid..
man GF tan ra mikonim !

597-Midooni shabahate gooz ba dooste 2khtar chi  !?. . . .Joftesho age vel koni rahat mishi .

598-Be torke migan shomare pat chande mige: 443 ,  behesh migan in che shomareie? Mige khob ye shomareh be avvale hameye shomareha ezafe shodeh.

599-Az beyze miporsan shoghlet chie ?mige : ba akhavi tir boland mikonim !

600-Negah !Harf !Dast !Bous !Gaz !Naz !Feshar !Faryad !Ab !Khab !Bache !Shash !Kar !Pool !Dava !Talagh !Marg !Chare ? => KANDOM !!!

ميخواستم ببينم شب ها که ميخواي بخوابي، گوشيتو خاموش مي کني که سر کارت نزارن؟
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شده خواب ببيني که وقتي خوابيدي تو خواب داري خواب ميبيني که خوابي و داري مي خوابي و خواب خوابو ميبيني که در اون حالي که تو خواب داري خواب خواب رو ميبيني تو خواب همونطور که خوابي يکي ديگه هم مثل خودت خوابه و تو خوابش خوابه خوابو ميبينه و همين طور که خوابيده تو خواب به تويي که خوابي بگه:چقدر سرکاري؟
_._._._._._._._._._
اين SMS تنها براي بيدار کردن شما ارسال شده و هيچ ارزش ديگري ندارد حالا مي توني بري بخوابي شب بخير……
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پاشو سرت از رو متکا افتاده پايين
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از اونجايي که شتر در خواب بيند پنبه دانه،گهي لپ لپ خورد گه دانه دانه، وظيفه خودم دونستم بيدارت کنم! آخه داشتي بالشتتو مي خوردي!
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ببخشيد که دير وقته ولي يه سوال داشتم که خيلي وقت ميخواستم ازت بپرسم که الآن يادم اقتاد : ايران به کشورهاي ديگر نفت ميفروشه بشکشو پس ميگشيره يا با بشکه ميده؟!؟!؟!؟
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سلام …. تو رو خدا ببخش … نمي خواستميخواستم ببينم شب ها که ميخواي بخوابي، گوشيتو خاموش مي کني که سر کارت نزارن؟
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شده خواب ببيني که وقتي خوابيدي تو خواب داري خواب ميبيني که خوابي و داري مي خوابي و خواب خوابو ميبيني که در اون حالي که تو خواب داري خواب خواب رو ميبيني تو خواب همونطور که خوابي يکي ديگه هم مثل خودت خوابه و تو خوابش خوابه خوابو ميبينه و همين طور که خوابيده تو خواب به تويي که خوابي بگه:چقدر سرکاري؟
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اين SMS تنها براي بيدار کردن شما ارسال شده و هيچ ارزش ديگري ندارد حالا مي توني بري بخوابي شب بخير……
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پاشو سرت از رو متکا افتاده پايين
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از اونجايي که شتر در خواب بيند پنبه دانه،گهي لپ لپ خورد گه دانه دانه، وظيفه خودم دونستم بيدارت کنم! آخه داشتي بالشتتو مي خوردي!
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ببخشيد که دير وقته ولي يه سوال داشتم که خيلي وقت ميخواستم ازت بپرسم که الآن يادم اقتاد : ايران به کشورهاي ديگر نفت ميفروشه بشکشو پس ميگشيره يا با بشکه ميده؟!؟!؟!؟
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سلام …. تو رو خدا ببخش … نمي خواستم اين موقع شب بيدارت کنم ….. واقعاً ببخش …. سعي کن درکم کني … من موبايلم گم شده زنگ بزن به گوشيم تا ببينم کجاست !. شرمنده ام
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اي بابا هر شب من بايد عين اسکلا با اس ام اس بيدارت کنم ؟ خوب خودت مث بچه ادم پاشو ديگه
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اگه خوابي بيدار شو .اگه بيداري بشين .اگه نشستي پاشو راه برو .اگه راه ميري بدو. اگه ميتوي يه پشتک بزن و خوشحال باش که از طرف من يه اس ام اس اومده واست
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با سلام اينجا تهران است. ساعت 3 بامداد … صداي مردم آزام اين موقع شب بيدارت کنم ….. واقعاً ببخش …. سعي کن درکم کني … من موبايلم گم شده زنگ بزن به گوشيم تا ببينم کجاست !. شرمنده ام
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اي بابا هر شب من بايد عين اسکلا با اس ام اس بيدارت کنم ؟ خوب خودت مث بچه ادم پاشو ديگه
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اگه خوابي بيدار شو .اگه بيداري بشين .اگه نشستي پاشو راه برو .اگه راه ميري بدو. اگه ميتوي يه پشتک بزن و خوشحال باش که از طرف من يه اس ام اس اومده واست
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با سلام اينجا تهران است. ساعت 3 بامداد … صداي مردم آزا

·    سلول های واقع در هاله پستان : ملامسه و مالش پستان ها که هر چه به نوک آن نزدیکتر شود حساسیت بیشتر است البته بهتر است همه پستان و بعد قسمتی  و بعد کمتر و بالاخره نوک آن را دریافت و مکیدن و لیسیدن پستانها که بسیار لذت بخش است

·    کلیتوریس: در زن حکم آلت مرد را دارد و حتی ملامسه مختصرآن تحریک شدیدی به زن می دهد آلت مرد نیز با ملامسه زن تحریک می شود و هر چه به حشفه نزدیکتر حساس تر است تا به حدی که سلول های نوک آلت حتی گرمی و سردی را حس نکرده و فقط برای لذت درک کردنند

·    سطح داخلی ران و لب های فرج نیز پاسخ می دهد و چنانچه انگشت را بر وتر های عضلانی که از هر دو طرف به استخوان می چسبند گذاشته و همانند به لرزه در آوردن تار های سیم عمل شود بهتر جواب می دهد  ملامسه می تواند با دست ، دهان ، سر ، آلت و حتی لاشه پاصورت گیرد چه بسا مالیدن کف پا به پشت پای زن یا مالیدن پشت پا به کف پای زن بهترین تحریک باشد و یا زنی پیدا شود که با مالش سطح داخلی بازوهایش به سرعت به اوج لذت جنسی برسد

·    بوسه قدیمی ترین نقطه شناخته شده برای تحریک  است که شامل بوسیدن لب ها ، صورت ، لاله گوش ، گردن و یا هر قسمتی از بدن زن باشد که پیدا کردن نقطه های حساس تر مدتی طول می کشد و به  نسبت بلوغ و فهم جنسی مرد و زن نقاط مربوطه شناخته می شود

عطر و بوی خوش : به محض آن که مرد با زن تماس پیدا کرد سوراخ های بینی او باز می شود و در مراکز هیجانی سمپاتیکی وی فعال شده ترشح اورنالیز شروع و در نتیجه فشار خون بالا رفته و بالاخره ترشحات دستگاه تناسلی شروع می شود . زن و مرد هر دو بوهای مخصوص خود را دارند که از لحاظ کیفی اثر عمیق بر یکدیگر دارند مثلا زن بوی دستان مرد را دوست دارد و دوست دارد همسرش به نام نوازش دستی به گونه ها و صورتش بکشد که بوی دستان او را حس کند . آنچه که در هر دو حنس محرک است بوی مناطق جنسی زن و پوست بیضه های مرد است گرچه بوی طبیعی بدن زن و مرد برای یکدیگر فوق العاده است اما استفاده از عطر ی که خوشایند همسر باشد نیز توصیه می شود نکته مهم در این مورد رعایت بهداشت و زدودن موهای زائد و برطرف کردن هر گونه عفونت و بوی بد است که برای هر دو طرف مخصوصا زن لازم و ضروری است

·    گفتار های عاشقانه : تحریک فقط به نوع فیزیکی محدود نمی شود و نوع روانی نیز دارد که باید به صورت همزمان استفاده شود صحبت های عاشقانه که هنگام رسیدن دو دلداده به هم بینشان رد و بدل می شود بسیار پر اهمیت است

نکته آخر این که مرد با فکر و یا در نظر آوردن نقاط شهوت انگیز و یا عوامل روانی نعوظ به او دست داده و اغلب در این حالت تحریک شده به حساب می آید آنچه بر زن لازم است تحریک موضعی نیست بلکه تحریک موقعی است و آن زمانی است که مرد در حالیکه دخول انجام می دهد زود نعوظ وی پایان می یابد و دخالت زن با تحریک مرد در حالی که عضلات مهبل را بر روی آلت مرد فشار داده رانها را بهم نزدیک می کند و امکانا با دست مالیدن به پشت مرد در امتداد ستون فقرات وی ، نعوظ مرد برگشته و مرد را راضی می سازد